It’s over. It’s done. Oscar: you can go back into hiding for a year! You did it! You made dreams come true, you crushed dreams, you exhausted people for a week, you reinvigorated people–you just did a shit ton of shit. Thank you for a great week, sir, but we are so glad to have finished up our week with Oscar.
We didn’t do much for Oscar for the rest of the week (Night Four was devoted to a dinner you’ll hear about Wednesday; Night Five was our first evening off in over a week so we ate Indian food and watched Project Runway; Day/Night Six was all Independent Spirit; and Day/Night Seven was devoted to prepping content for the week. While you likely are uninterested in hearing about how we did not watch the ceremony but did hear helicopters all day from people trying to get a view of the ceremony, you may want to know how we fared on the 2013 Oscar Week Scavenger Hunt. Here is the final tally. Items crossed out were *not* achieved. A few entries have parenthetical explanations next to them.
• Walk to an event.
• Take the bus to an event.
• Take our dinky black 2001 Volkswagen New Beetle that we are ashamed of to an event.
• Wear dress shorts to an event.
• Bump into our Oscar Party Friends from last year, Devon and James.
• Bump into an ex-boyfriend. (Ran into the one I knew I would see at the Independent Spirit Awards. Damn, Best Documentary Feature category!)
• Bump into someone you had no idea would be at a party.
• Bump into our Vanity Fair friends.
• Take the NYC Vanity Fair crew to drinks somewhere.
• Take a handful of obnoxious, slightly useless swag.
• Get an obnoxious, slightly useless huge piece of swag as a surprise.
• Get a celebrity to talk to you. (I cornered John Waters and told him I loved him on Saturday. Does that count?)
• Get a waiter to give you gossip.
• Get a celebrity to shake your hand. (John Waters!)
• Get denied access to an event. (We got kicked out of the Piaget tent for not having the right wrist bands. That count?)
• Get a dirty look. (I’m sure we got this.)
• Get a free bottle of booze. (Got some mini Jameson bottles!)
• Get a ridiculous drink. (Drinking from two giant booze bottles counts.)
• Get a drink spilled on you.
• Get a drink spilled on you–by a celebrity.
• Get talked to by a celebrity assistant.
• Get invited to an after party. (Independent Spirit after party: W00T.)
• Get someone’s number/asked out on a date. (Ha!)
• Get someone’s business card.
• Get someone to talk about the 2013 LA mayoral election.
• Get someone to talk about KPCC.
• Get someone to compliment your outfit.
• Tell someone, “Oh, I don’t watch movies.” or something related.
• Tell someone, “I don’t have cable.” or something related.
• Tell someone, “Who?” in response to the name of a public figure “we should know.”
• Tell someone Cabin In The Woods was the best film of 2012 and we are mad it didn’t get any nominations.
• Have a conversation about horror movies.
• Give out a business card.
• Meet someone who knows about LAIY.
• Leave an LAIY sticker on a table and watch for someone to pick it up. (Disqualified if sticker is thrown away!)
• Show someone this photo.
• See Anne Hathaway at an event.
• See Michael Haneke at an event.
• See Jennifer Lawrence at an event.
• See Quvenzhané Wallis at an event.
• See Ben Affleck at an event.
• See Adele at an event.
• See Daniel Craig.
• See Anderson Cooper at an event. (I only add this because he is my only celebrity crush. And I would die.)
• Go to an award ceremony.
• Do not watch the Oscars.
• Touch an Oscar.
• Encourage someone to give back to Los Angeles.
• Encourage someone to take the Metro.
• Get someone to give you money.
• Speak to a paparazzo.
I think we did pretty good this year, Oscar. What do you think? Have a safe trip back to wherever you go!
